Yesterday

Most days I wake up happy as always, other days I wake up and I want to cry. Today I did. I've been wanting to cry all day long, but I can't find the reasons. There are none, but I need to cry.

I'll head home and do so, with a cup of tea and a PC game. With a blank piece of paper and all night to think about it. There are reasons for these things, I'll get mine. Maybe it's the hangover, maybe it's because I keep forgetting human bodies need to eat every few hours and, now that I think of it, I haven't all day.

I sometimes get this when I think I've been doing something terribly wrong, but I can't put my finger on what it would be this time. Maybe I can, but I'm trying to be fair, to be honest, to do things well. You can't ask a person to do more than he can. I have the feeling I have to do something more, but can't. Don't know where to start. Don't know how to do it. And I have to. I want to.

I want things to work, I want things to exist. I want, I want... No tao in wanting.

Duele tras los ojos como si un silencio quisiera nacer y hablarlo todo. Va a gritar como si el mundo fuera un pozo y nadie pudiera mirarle. Voy a rasgarme las vestiduras como si sirviera de algo y, luego, quizá más tarde, haga algo útil.