Things have a price, and it's right they do. It has to cost you an effort, it has to cost time, you can't have it as soon as you fancy it. You must not. I don't want to, I rather cry, be frustrated, get over it and work out a way to make it work after I've had my tantrum. If I can't cry of frustration when it seems impossible, it's not worth giving it any time. It's unbelievable how good it feels when, with all odds against, it works. It's like striking a match in the middle of the most complete darkness and finding out the universe is there. I'm writing this because of the there's nothing easy worthwhile, the improbability quota and the damn it, can't have it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I have voices saying "difficult you can do in a second, impossible takes a little longer". I am obsessive, so? It's the only way I am capable of getting things done, they become the only thing in my head, stalking any other thoughts until they walk away, a bit frightened.
I have never come across a problem I couldn't find a way of solving, it only took time. Most of the times I wanted something, I managed to get it, in one way or another. There is always a first time things don't work out, even though they have always before, but it won't be this one. Not today, not tomorrow.
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